Hey readers - before you soldier on, the links in this email all lead to shops of the sexy variety. Okay, let’s dive in…
Last week I spent 45 min browsing Passionfruit Shop in Fitzroy with a girlfriend. We talked, touched everything, asked questions and learnt about wand attachments (didn’t know they existed, now I can’t imagine a world without!)
And we didn’t feel awkward at all. We were just two women. In a sex shop. Having a casual Friday afternoon browse.
This is not how my first sex shop experience went. And maybe not what you expect out of a sex shop experience either. Here’s the story you’ve probably heard or experienced…
My first time as a VIP…
The year is 2012, I’m a year out of uni, living at home. My boyfriend at the time and I were talking, and someone brought up toys. The whole conversation was no more detailed than:
“want to try toys”
“ok”
Solid communication there team!
So before our next date, I thought: I’m a big, brave girl. I’ll surprise him with some toys! I’ll go into my first sex shop. Alone.
Quick scene setting before we go further… in case you don’t remember what 2012 was like:
Instagram was not full of brand & influencer content to sift through. #ValenciaFilter4Eva
My blackberry was not going to handle any on the fly internet queries once inside (How good was BBM though?)
The song of the year was “Somebody that I used to know”
Okay, back to the story:
I got into my beat up Nissan Maxima and drove 5 towns over effectively ensuring I would not run into anyone I knew from suburbia. I pulled off the interstate, to a big warehouse box store with parking out the front (why?).
After many deep inhales and a few pep talks, I put on my VIP pants, and scurried in.
This was the actual shop in suburban Connecticut. Something about the giant VIP signs surprisingly did not make me feel like a VIP.
Once I got inside, I could feel myself shrink smaller. The aisles felt huge, long, too high.
Thinking back, I felt a bit like the Harry Potter pals in the Hall of Prophecy - I walked in terrified of Voldy’s crew (aka being seen by ANYONE I knew) but also knowing I had a mission - “Find something cheap and get out”.
Maybe my prophecy was actually that 14 years later I would launch a pleasure expo for women? 🤔
I found the smallest toys I knew I could hide before my next date and left. The purchases? A vibrating cock ring and nipple clamps. I didn’t even know if I liked nippled play! I didn’t really know what a cock ring did! 🙈
And shock horror, none of the purchases were ever used. Because we didn’t talk about it. Looking back at that memory in the Pensieve* it’s full of embarrassment and shame. Yuk. Not cool.
*Last HP reference, I promise.
Reason 82 why I think The Baths needs to exist…
When I started ideating on The Baths, part of it was because of this experience. Because it’s taken me 14 years to unlearn that walking into a sex shop isn’t shameful. And I know I’m not alone in feeling that.
Pop culture has given us a lot of shit references. Society doesn’t help.
NSW prohibits products and advertisements to be visible from outside of sex shops which is why so many feel hidden or exist through seemingly small, dark staircases into the unknown. The government has effectively pulled out the giant bell and shouted…
still a great meme.
At The Baths vendors will have their toys, lingerie, lubes, on display. In the open, in a curated, well designed expo floor that feels warm and welcoming. Where you can ask questions, touch everything, giggle if you want to, and hopefully walk home with some new treasures.
While we wait for The Baths to bubble up - more on this soon - here are some of my favourite aussie sex-shops you needn’t be ashamed to walk into.
Passionfruit Shop - Fitzroy
High Tide - Melbourne CBD
Max Black - Newtown
I get it, this one is right on King St, which can feel like OMG EVERYONE IS WATCHING ME WALK IN. I promise, they’re not. Get yourself a Messina as you depart for being so brave!
What shops have I missed? Hit reply & let me know!
Until next time Bathers,
x Laura
💌 [email protected]